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I didnt really think i'd spend the last day feeling like this. I mean my two bestfriends aren't going to be with me, thats a bummer for sure. But what happened last night, has just thrown me out. I've said to myself, and i'll continue to say it, that tonights about me, not you, or the other you. I want to be happy, with the girls i do have around. Can't you just leave my head for the night? But i will say that 2009, has been insane, like a year i never thought would happen. And at midnight tonight, the one thing i will be glad about, is knowing that i still have the girls with me next year. 2010 will be amazing.

Old Things

When you were little did you ever have a toy that you could never part with? Or maybe a favourite blanket? I had two, two toys. My dolly and a banana in pajamas toy. I lost my dolly somewhere, and when i moved away, i left my banana there because i thought it was time. And when you got older there was something else you never wanted to let go of, another toy, a pair of shoes, set of clothes? But eventually you do and something else will eventually replace it. I never thought the thing that i had to let go of now, would be you. You have become my old thing, the thing i need to let go of. Except its a lot harder now than it was back then, you aren't a stuffed doll or anything like that. You are a person, my person, but us being people together isn't working. You once were the one i could never part with, you were by my side, and we've been through more than a lot, but now we both have grown up and apart. I don't want to lose you in a shopping centre, or leave you on a washing machine, i want to do this right. Just like my dolly, when i do let you go, its going to hurt more than anything, and one day, someone or something will replace you, that spot in my heart that you took up, will need to be filled. I know that i'll always love you and i'll never forget you. We just need to find the right way to say goodbye.

Awww Guyss

I miss my women:(

Justine, Sophie, Jemma!

So much has happened lately, that i need to be in your presence so we can be excited! And i wont see two of you till after new years

As for that, i do want to say, to all three of you,

That im glad that you three have stuck around for so long, if anyone ever leaves me, you wont be able to because i kill you before you can :)

I love you women.

Aaaahhh

You make me happy. Thats all it really comes down too hey. Be nice, don't mess around, you've pulled me in this far, let me down gently when you need too. For now, you've brought the butterflies back, and the ear to ear smile. The best Christmas present you could have given.

Best Day

I dont want to sound selfish, but today has seem to be such a good day for me. Woke up, AMAZING beach weather. Then Sophie gave me such a wonderful present, will be handy in nine months time! KIDDING! Then, got lunch bought for us, and 'someone' saw me, like he said he would. Then beach was perfect, amazing. Saw little justine work her butt off and we said our breif goodbyes :), Found 10 dollars in my wallet! Then got christmas presents off brodie and his mother, they were lovely. Then saw sophies dad, always a pleasure but had to say goodbye to sophie. Then went to jemmas, left an amazing note for her family and said our goodbyes. Then came home, got my ipod touch (L)! Then got an exciting text message. Now i sit here, waiting for 12 so i can get in the car and drive to NSW.

All up i saw all the people i wanted to see before i leave. And im happy.

Gone

You're not around anymore, I havent decided if this is a good thing? I'm not going to lie, but i constantly see things that remind me of you, and the feeling i get in my stomach is something i wish would go away. And i'd be lying if i said i never think about you or anything like that. But i will say that i do miss who you were when we were something or nothing? I just hope that this time things will stay the same just for a while, stop playing the little game for a while. I wont lose the feelings, nor will i forget you like you might. I know you'll never listen to what i have to say and some would say i've wasted too much time on you already, but for now i wish you good luck.

Stop?

I knew that my happy high would come crashing down soon. I wondered why everything seemed to be going alright, well as alright as they could be. I sit here now, so damn sad. It makes me so mad. I'm sick of the both of you, making me so upset. Highs and lows, Highs and lows. I'm in a mess, a mess i cant get out of, technically i've been in it for what, 8 or so months. It's getting old but i cant get out! Why cant there be a button you press to stop feeling, stop caring, stop it all.

The 4th.

Expectations often seem to lead to disappointments. Since you've been in my life, i know i've learnt something. That when it does come to you, not to expect much, or anything at all. Because when i do, it will likely lead to disappointments. But unfortunately this doesn't stop me, from having my hopes the as high as the sky.

Two Weeks

Its been two weeks.
Since you were last around.
Since you said those words.
Since you acted the way you did.
Those words, those actions sucked me back in.
Fell just a little harder.
Two weeks since i sat there, so nervous.
I couldnt find any words to say.
Since your touch struck me, made me tremble.
But its been two weeks, since you made me happy.

Mmm, games.

Your games are getting a bit old, but i seem to come back to you, no matter what. I dont feel like playing the games right now, but dont worry yourself, i'll back falling for the same things in no time. I have a million and one things i could say to you, and there are a million and one things i could write about you. But you'd never listen, right. I sometimes blow myself away when i think about everything i've done for you, everything i've given up. But i guess you never asked for that. You just played the game well. We'll keep playing, and maybe one day, everything will catch up to you.

Eavesdropping

Has become a horrible habit of mine.
With that also comes staring..
Seriously, if im in a public place i just naturally start listening.
Peoples conversations are rather fascinating,
Although jemma, brodie and anyone else im with, get so cranky when i do!
But i personally just laugh at it when i realise what im doing.
Keeps me rather entertained, cept when jemma calls me a creep.