Two Hearts

When we were born, we were born with two hearts. One is a vital organ, that keeps the blood pumping, that keeps us alive. But then there's another. A heart, that when we are younger, our parents keep it locked up in our chest. Then you grow up, and realise what love can be, what love is, and what love isn't. Some keep theirs locked up, and then theres others who wear it on their sleeves. At the moment, i think i've only one. My vital organ, that is keeping me alive. The other, i gave to you, then i took it back, wore it on my sleeve. I took yours for granted. Now it belongs to someone else. When you took yours back, you took mine with you.

Princess

Oh how we've been through alot, and you've stuck by me through alot too. Yes we had our rough patch..but i look at it now and laugh. I'm glad to still have you, and after school i hope we continue this. Our hearts will mend, they will. But for now, i love you, that should be enough ;) haha

18.11.10

I'm not ready to leave it all behind.

Thankyou

To everyone today. As much as i'm feeling lost, lonely, empty, whatever it is. Everyone who put in today, who was there, who cared. It means alot, and makes things alot easier.

Regret?

Im not sure whats happening. I'm not sure if i have this big regret or not. I guess if i didnt do what i did, i wouldnt be who i am now. But then again, i see myself a better person back then anyways. I guess i kinda wished i never gave him up, never hurt him the way i did. That would of saved me alot of hurt too. But everything happens for a reason, right.

Always have and always will

You're that one person that will always fill my heart. You're that one person who will always be mine, no matter how many others we have. I'm so proud of you, you have done the right thing, the best thing. But the thing that hurt the most. We will never find anyone like each other, and we'll always have each other, in memories. Im sorry for everything. I loved you. I still love you. Be good. Treat her well. She'll never be me.

Lonely

I'm so so lonely. I screwed two boys around and they screwed me around back. And they were the ones who ended up happy and having someone. I never go out. I never do anything. I thought it was so I didn't get sick. But I kinda realise I don't have a little group inside the big group. I don't want to be here anymore.

Karma

I'm selfish. I'm horrible. I hurt you. You stood by me. I used you to an extent. And felt for someone else just as much as I felt for you. But now you turn around. Did something for yourself. Found someone new. That's my karma. I'm so proud of you. I really am. But at the same time I'm breaking and hurting and missing. I kinda thought you'd be mine forever. That's the selfish part. I won't ruin this one I promise.

Replacement

Dear the one who meant the most,3 years on. Hope it was worth it. You don't look at it from my eyes you don't even give it a second to think as soon as I say a thing you get defensive and assume I'm making you a bad guy. 'too busy'. Well I'm glad I mean that much for me to end up like the rest, some 'bestfriend'. Two way street. But I do hope you know and remember you hurt me and let me down more than anyone. Find time to think of that one. Lots of love, the one who cared the most, did the most for you and who was there for you over anyone. Things change. Didn't expect it to be with you. Lifes full of surprises.

summer 2010/2011

oh how i have high hopes for you. all starts at caloundra music festival! then grad! then schoolies! then seeing anna, hopefully! then christmas! then everyone begins turning 18! aahh, im beyond excited and although im frighten as hell to leave school i'd give anything for to it be october the 8th!! This summer is going to be great. if only it could last forever. gives me hope, because fuck i am over this winter, and crappy friends/school shit. summer all the crap will be gone :)

Oh baby Oh baby ;)

Emily Mendham, we've been friends for sometime now! and well we went through a rough patch back in the day, and even now, i still wish that didnt happen. But we are now as close as ever and thats how its going to be. You understand me, and you see the things i go through and see how hard it is for me, and you are there. I never feel bad about venting to you about all the crap i deal with, you are so helpful. I love you alot, and as you said, from november onwards we are going to be having the best time together, always always always!

BFFL!

The term bestfriend actually makes me angry these days. First theres the bestfriend, we have grown apart, i dont really know why, but im just not number one for you anymore. Second girlfriend, which really meant bestfriend, just isn't the same anymore. Im not enjoying the whole feeling likee 4th best thing. So really, theres Anna, who no one can ever compare to and sophie, thank fuck you call me a sister because we'd be doomed if we used bestfriend. And of course the loyal members of the pack. Love is all the same for all, some just treat me alot better, and thankyou to those who do :)